I read 5 self help books in 5 days 📚 to try to get my life together

Auto-captioned from the film, lightly cleaned. Elena's words, not edited prose.

foreign hello how's it going it's Elena I feel like I have a bit of a theme for this year I'm having a bit of a quarter life crisis I'm feeling a little stuck I've been feeling a little directionless maybe it's just the symptoms of being in your mid edging on late 20s you're like what am I supposed to do now what's next what a better idea than try to fix that on a week with self-help books like this will work right so I was inspired by my good friend Jack Edwards in his video on self-help books and I decided let's make a challenge out of this crisis in my life and read five self-help books in five days like many people I of course have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the genre on one hand in an Ideal World these authors are writing's books to hopefully improve people's lives on the other hand there's a lot of crappy self-help books out there I tried to pick books with the wide range from the self-help genre while touching on some of the most like popular of all time so we have how to win friends that influence people the subtle art of not giving a psychology of money daring greatly Atomic happens I hope I'll gain some more clarity in my life Maybe get some more emotional understanding make some more friends be better with money I'm basically doing this so you don't have to and I love to read so I figured it'd be kind of a fun challenge to get myself to read one a day let's get to reading some self-help books and uh I'll see you on the first day of reading it's day one I've got my first book we have a very gloomy day here in New York city so it's kind of perfect for just holding inside and reading all day How to Win Friends and Influence People the only book you need to lead you to success by good old Dale Carnegie this was written in 1936 I believe you probably heard of it it's one of the best selling uh sell help books of all time this book is basically all about how to communicate and have good relationships be a good leader let's start reading all right I found about 100 pages in figured I'd do like a little halfway checkpoint I feel like it's teaching you very basic social skills which I feel like ideally most people in your life would already know but for anybody out there who maybe needs a little help with the old social skills just passive aggressively give them this book I will say there are a lot of just good tidbits on just being a better human asking questions being kind you know giving people the benefit of the doubt the anecdotes are quite hyperbolic to the point where it's a little grating and then I have to remind myself like okay this is written in 1936.

we gotta give Dale credit for the fact that this book is still feels relevant almost 100 years later I feel like the great Epiphany that I'm getting so far is that when you're nice people are nice back let's finish her up thank you I'm back quite a bit later first and foremost do you need to read this whole book I'm gonna say no it's broken down into four sections I feel like you could go off those four different sections and kind of pick and choose what you want I think at the end of the day while this book wasn't like profoundly transformational by any means it encourages you to genuinely be interested in other people put yourself in their shoes in terms of my core life crisis this book has not helped that much but I will say it's good text just be right in school nonetheless on that note I'm tired and I need to have dinner book one down on to the next new day new book and we are reading the one the only brene Brown daring greatly and this is all about how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we love live parent and Lead I'm not a parent but I do live in love I often feel too like I existed a more analytical headspace I got my thinker over a Feeler and I get very nervous to like tap into my emotions and like lead with my heart over my head but I feel like that's a good challenge for me I've had it on my bookshelf for a really long time and I've honestly just kind of ignored it I'm like vulnerability but I'm very excited to see what I learned from it and you know what it is another very gloomy day in New York so I want to see this is good for reading because there's no like sunshine fomo do you guys get that let's go to a coffee shop for a few hours and get some reading done there let's go weather that's what we're making do I'm excited to say we have finished doing greatly by Renee Brown and I really like this book so she is a shame researcher I like that it's founded in actually a lot of different scientific stats and different projects that she has been researching she basically dives into all about what shame and vulnerability is and how they are interlinked Shane comes from the fear of being judged and about people's opinions on us and she makes the case that in order to live your life to the fullest extent you have to be willing to step into that place of vulnerability dare greatly if you will so vulnerability is the core of difficult emotions like fear and grief disappointment but also the birthplace of love and creativity and Innovation I feel like this book is especially useful for anybody who wants to put themselves out there who's especially hard on themselves who has a hard time being in touch with their emotions or he wants to try something that's kind of like daring and scary and they're freaked out and you're scared of facing maybe rejection or judgment or failure but she makes the case for doing that scary thing taking that situation and knowing that you are still enough no matter the outcome essentially one of the things she talked about too that really stuck out to me is how it's kind of revered in our culture especially American capitalist Society to do it on your own and be really tough but it's actually Brave to need people which I was like oh you got me there I've always valued forever reasons we're drilled into my brain that it was you know important to be independent and to be able to handle things on my own and I have this distorted sense of Pride and Independence and being able to fully take care of myself but it's Brave to be vulnerable and to want belonging and to need people and you know what I'm tired I'm tired of doing the ship all by myself I would love to get some people up here in the deck with me I feel like this book A lot of it is definitely pointed towards leaders and parents Etc but I will say I found it helpful too if you're in the world of dating she added this anecdote which I really liked about this guy basically asked off this girl he kind of got rejected and he came back his friends were like how did it go she wasn't interested and we're like oh tough dude he's like you know what I dared greatly and while that's really cheesy it actually stuck out to me he tried his best he spoke his truth and now he can look back and be like hey I took my shot there's no wondering what ifs because I went for it all right on to the next okay I've been reading so are not giving a by Mark Manson this is supposed to be like the no BS not like the other self-help books guide To Living a good life it's sounds a little pick me but we're gonna give it the benefit of the doubt so he starts off by commenting on how most like life guide self-help books are actually focusing on what you lack it's about how to be prettier happier more successful our culture is essentially fixated on these unrealistic extremely positive really high expectations trying to reach that goal ends up making you more discontent because you're instead focusing on the fact that you're lacking all those things he basically advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them and move forward with those in mind basically should find meaning through what we value as well as what we can actually control he calls it the tyranny of exceptionalism where this is exasperated in New York let me tell you because you're around some of the smartest most successful most beautiful people you will come across and so it's very easy to feel like oh my God I should be at that next level rather than just looking at yourself and accepting where you're at and what you're capable of you know what I'm liking this so far this is a short one so let's finish her up I'm back it's actually the next day I got really tired last night and didn't want to film finished up subtle art by Mark Manson you know what I went in being a bit cynical and I found this to actually be a beneficial read I liked in the second half too he talks about this chapter called power of saying no which I'm the queen of fomo fear missing out I want to keep all my options open you know I want to experience everything but he makes the argument that you have to say no to really live a life a meeting an example he uses which I can relate to with someone who does a lot of travel YouTube is being that like nomadic Backpacker and how it's fun for a while like having a life full of like Travel and Adventure and meeting all these people but at the end of the day those experiences start to become repetitive the relationships you build are very fleeting because you're on from one spot to the next and a lot of the beauty of Life comes out of saying no to this like plethora of options and opportunities and instead digging into something that really matters like a career or settling down with like one part and building a life with them if you want to focus on the right things that really matter to you you have to say no to everything else we're going to have to miss out on things but you want to make sure you're missing out on the right things I feel like this book really finished off with helping me focus on what's important to me and what do I value and how do I define success and failure purely for myself not in like Society standards so in regards to my whole quarter life crisis I actually found this book very helpful I get to create my own expectations for my life and I get to choose what is important basically choose better things to give a about at the end of the day also incredibly short the font's pretty big you can read it quick all right I need to go have my proper cup of coffee for the day today's book we've got Atomic habits go start our day and get reading shall we habits I made some progress throughout an easy improving way to build good habits and break bad ones he's basically making the argument that to make changes in your life it's not about this like massive upheaval and revolution in your life but it's more about small incremental changes over time that can really lead to big change so for example use this plane story which I really liked where if you were trying to fly from let's say LA to New York and the pilot put in different coordinates that only had a point two percent difference in theory it doesn't sound like a big deal but that could take you instead of going from New York all the way to Washington DC so those small little changes good or bad over time can really lead you in a different direction I think it's important to know when people think about building good habits they don't always think about breaking down bad habits you talked about different tips for making it easier as well like implementation intention basically coming up with a plan of intent to figure out where and when you're gonna care out this certain goal as well as altering your environment which is a big one for me let me tell you if there are snacks in my house I have no control no control are we eat an entire bag of Cheez-Its in one sitting no problem and so for me in order to eat healthy my biggest thing has been literally just not having it in the house like the bad food I just don't buy it yes I still snack but it's usually when I'm out because it's not in my own environment in my own home I can't reach for it one other rule that stuck out in this first half is the two minute rule which I like any habit just start with the first two minutes so if you want to run more or exercise more he's like just take two minutes put on your shoes put in your music and go outside and then you can decide from there so I'm currently training for a half marathon you'd think for coming to such a big goal I'd have the motivation to like you know actually go through a train but let me tell you it's it's difficult once I've actually put on those shoes stepped outside and kind of started making my body like I'm like all right let's let's do this thing let's get this running basically any Behavior could be distilled down into two minutes it helps you kind of build easily achievable results over time there's some fluff in here for sure as their arm releasing with most self-help books get to read tonight hello I feel like it's safe to say I kind of hit on some of those key overarching thoughts in this book earlier but I wanted to talk about one other section I really like that's a habit stacking section and good old James recommends when there's a habit you want to do stacking it with something that's already Supernatural to your routine like brushing your teeth so let's say you want to get better at French and you want to just start with 10 minutes of French every day I'm going to every single morning as soon as I'm finished making my coffee and I'm ready to drink it that's when I start practicing that habit or practicing French or whatever it is just think of one of those things that you do effortlessly every day and then build on that momentum by just sneaking in another habit with it the quality of your life really depends on your habits and self-development is all about this delayed gratification if you want to see change it's not going to happen overnight you're not going to get a six-pack tomorrow after doing 20 minutes of ab exercises I think this was an important and helpful reminder that changing your life isn't about having some like crazy breakthrough or actually all about those small little bitty habits that you like every single day that point you in the direction of where you want to be going or potentially pull you away from where you don't want to go good morning today's gonna look a little bit different because it's a travel day and we're reading the psychology of money let's grab our suitcase and go away we've made it to the airport I also got this cool tiny new mic let's talk about the psychology of money at a base level it's about how to have a better relationship with money I feel like when we think about money it all comes down to math and numbers and reality a lot of how we deal with money comes down to behavior and how we feel about our finances and that's how we end up reacting that's how we spend money that's how we invest that's why we pull out Investments and so this really shows us how we look and deal with money while giving us healthier tips about how to do that I see my gaze boarding so I should probably get up so we'll read on the plane I'm going to California by the way touches on a lot of the financial literacy and education tips you find in a lot of those kind of Beginner Books if you're new to my channel I actually do quite a bit of financial education videos myself and so some of this might be repetitive if you have seen those videos I do like that he essentially starts off by saying that you really can't judge people on how they view their money and spend their money because it is so dependent on so many factors on how we were raised how we were brought up and what things we've gone through that can affect our own history when it comes to money one of the parts too early on that I really liked is him having this whole chapter called Never Enough and it's all about when to know enough is enough it's so common to be like wow one day I would dream of making six figures and then you get to that point and you're like but wait I also want that nice car and I gotta get the home and then that goal post just goes moving up and up and up and you're never really able to feel happy with what you have so figuring out that enough level for yourself is critical for finding Financial Peace I want to talk about one of my favorite sections I'm actually going to read you a quote this is from chapter seven the ability to do what you want when you want with who you want for as long as you want is priceless it's the highest dividend money pays that section alone is such a grounding important reminder when you are able to have freedom of your own time feel some level of peace with your finances and knowing it's enough is the real game changer of having a life of contentment a lot of this too I feel like is kind of pointed at American culture it's time for me to go have some dinner and I'll hopefully finish up this book get done with the book ready for bed I feel like I talked a lot earlier so I'm going to keep this short he talks a lot about your ego saving money is the gap between your ego and your income while he says he can't give you any investing advice because it depends completely on you and your decisions and your behaviors and your goals it does say if I had to summarize my view investings it's this every investor should pick a strategy has the highest odds of successfully meeting their goals and I think for most investors dollar cost averaging into low-cost index funds will provide you the highest odds of long-term success do you hear that across the board that's how I invest I've talked about that in my own investing videos look into that or check out my videos on beginner's guide to investing overall really enjoyed this book we have made it to the end of quite a long week I know the world of self-help has mixed reactions but you're getting to basically get access to some of the smartest people in the world and how they think and how they act and how they've approached some of the issues or situations that you're currently facing I think the most important key is of course taking action it's one thing to read these books it's another thing to actually act on them and Implement them in your life so has this helped my quarter life crisis I think my answer would be kind of in a way yes like it didn't make me reevaluate the way I see success the things that are important to me the goals that I may be trying to achieve and why I'm trying to achieve them what is my definition of happiness and achievement and I did learn some tips to you know be happier and healthier in my day-to-day life like in the psychology of money and it helped me to redefine what you know success achievement and happiness looks like or like an atomic habits that gave me the tools to make small changes in my day-to-day life to bring me more growth and I hope hopefully joy and contentment over time or like in the subtle art I'm not giving a it helped me to stop comparing myself to other people and where I think I should be or where I should be headed and just focus on what's important to me and where I want to go so what I recommend you read all of these books not necessarily I think this is part of the self-help book world that these authors to reach a certain page count kind of fluff it up I feel like honestly a lot of these books could be distilled to just a few main points all in all I feel like these books can help you uncover the mess that is your internal world and help you to articulate and work through those thoughts and emotions and feelings and kind of break out of the thought processes you've been stuck in and maybe think or act in a new way I'm glad I read these books it was quite the journey if you enjoyed please leave a comment like subscribe and help me out a lot and on that note thanks so much for watching until next time